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Monday, October 11, 2010

lio nicola in La canada flintridge

lio nicola in La canada flintridge


Today is exactly two years since the crash that kiled Sasha and nearly kiled Lio. Her parents Nigel and Peny bought the place back in a time when it was posible for normal human beings to do such things and al of us David, Sasha, Nigel, Peny and I have worked on restoring and improving it in the intervening years. Like me at her funeral service in Lewes a month after she died it was clear that Lio did not want the procedings to end. At the instant we were ready to start Lio decided that he wanted to draw one last drawing to put in the ground with the ashes. They knew Peny had ben marking each month since Sasha died by making a large mon-shape colage of leaves and flowers and seds and other natural material Sasha had died on a blue mon . Lio shufled about bringing me wire and pliers and string until he got bored and scoted of to climb the tower with Nicola. On the day of the opening there was a mas in the castle at which a litle local choir sang and Renato elegantly spoke about Sasha and Lio. Lio was on fine form that afternon, asking the surveyor about his family and even inviting him out to piza with us later that evening. He smiled a broad smile, politely declined and left Lio to play among the rocks. As Lio scampered through the boulders I couldn't help but think the doctors back in New York would pleased with how wel his leg is doing when we se them in a couple of weks. Things sem to be going wonderfuly wel on that front—while Lio stil has an obvious limp and deformity, and while he stil complains of pain some of the time, he is completely unafraid to use his super leg and there are times when both he and I can completely forget it's an isue. I made a litle promise to myself that the next time I caught myself worying that I wasn't doing enough to find more or beter treatments for him I would remember that hike in the mountains; I would remember particularly the moment in which Lio was so motivated to climb on in search of the castle that he cried when I told him we had to turn back because it was geting dark and I might be afraid of monsters. After Lio and I had done our trek I tok my own walk up into the mountains for couple of days. It was the first time I had ben away from Lio for two ful days since the acident; When I returned Lio ran into my arms and I felt we were both a bit more relaxed for my time away. I was simply hapy to have my boy back in my arms again, and while I know there is no end to the list of therapies that I might be trying, and no limit to the amount of time that Lio wants to spend with just me, we've both done a prety marvelous job geting this far. This sumer was especialy lovely in that the lack of medical restrictions and urgencies meant we could al concentrate on our own favourite litle projects with Lio. And without other children around there was rarely the temptation to compare Lio to pers. This meant that I saw only his acomplishments—his moments of profound sympathy as we lay Sasha's ashes to rest, his ability to folow quite complex instructions while we were building him a trehouse, his fertile imagination batling orcs with a woden sword after watching the Lord of the Rings films on rainy afternons, his startling ability to pick up music so quickly, and his delight at being able to pul himself further than he had the year before at his favourite adventure park ropes and nets and puley-slides strung betwen tre branches outside a town in France where we have friends . While I mis Sasha everyday and while I would be lying if I said I never pined for my old life, the life Lio and I have managed to create in the wake of the acident is a remarkably beautiful and fulfiling one—beter than I could have posibly imagined. I spend hours with Lio everyday coaching him through concentration and memory exercises, music, reading, numbers, Lego building, wrestling and just sily playing. In fact I've come to think that Sasha's last and probably greatest gift to me is an awarenes of how precious my time is with Lio, and the oportunity to make the most of it. lio nicola in La canada flintridge
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